


Crushed Canvas

by Yotsubadancesintherain5



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Anger, Dark, Gen, Grief/Mourning, One Shot, Post-Canon, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 10:36:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14134314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yotsubadancesintherain5/pseuds/Yotsubadancesintherain5
Summary: There's one place where Homura can fully express how this all feels.





	Crushed Canvas

Her head felt empty without those ribbons, akin to a phantom limb. Touching her head only to feel hair instead of soft fabric would make Homura's smile crack. She held in her breath, willed the walls to stop shaking or else everything would crumble. Her teacher announced that there would be an art class today.

Homura let out her breath. An art class didn't require too much strenuous effort, as she'd dabbled in the craft occasionally. Art was different from any other subject, because if she didn't do so well others would only pat her back and encourage her.

The class filed out to the art room and their canvases were set up. For a rare occasion, the goal of the class was to paint an object from their minds, keeping in memory the light sources instead of it being physical. Homura thought that the effort lessened.

But she was left alone with her mind. Everything roared up as she stared at the blank canvas, nothing to distract her from what she couldn't run from.

It wasn't fair. None of this was fair, her life wasn't supposed to turn out like this. Homura picked a color of paint at random and left a streak of blue across the canvas. It was hard enough with this horrible, weak heart but then she lost Mami. She lost Madoka, Madoka died for everyone and Homura was expected to accept this. There was a slash of purple that went straight down from top to bottom.

Homura thought once that everything was going to be okay, because she knew what was going to happen. But nothing worked out, everyone died (Mami killed Kyoko and was going to kill Homura and Madoka and then herself, maybe, maybe Homura shouldn't have resisted it so much, she thought in hindsight, at least then she wasn't what she was now) and Madoka begged Homura to make this right. Homura promised, and killed her.

Homura never kept that promise.

She ground the paintbrush into the thick paper, and then tossed it aside. It was hindering, and Homura took the palette and plunged her hand into the paint. Homura smeared the colors together and ran her hand along the canvas, she was worthless, a mere toy that everybody threw away when they found her rotten insides, love would never come for her because she never did anything to deserve that emotion.

Homura suddenly looked up, angry tears streaming down her face, and the room was utterly quiet. Her teacher made an awkward comment about how Homura was emulating one of the great, surreal artists and became very passionate in her work.

Homura packed away her thoughts and put on a smile that wouldn't be out of place on a magazine. She thought to feign sickness when art class came up again.

**Author's Note:**

> Some say that Homura failed her promise in the original series but I disagree; since she made Madoka more powerful with each time travel, Madoka was able to save everybody with that extremely powerful wish and make everything right.


End file.
